zaterdag 31 januari 2015

Lets love even when it hurts

1 John 4:16-21 God is love. If we keep on loving others, we will stay one in our hearts with God, and he will stay one with us. 17 If we truly love others and live as Christ did in this world, we won't be worried about the day of judgment. 18 A real love for others will chase those worries away. The thought of being punished is what makes us afraid. It shows that we have not really learned to love.
19 We love because God loved us first. 20 But if we say we love God and don't love each other, we are liars. We cannot see God. So how can we love God, if we don't love the people we can see? 21 The commandment that God has given us is: “Love God and love each other!”

If you are a frail and fallible human being like me then you will realize that you are unable to love all people the way you should. God often brings people in our lives who sharpen us to make us realize that we really need to continually depend on Him to love them as we should. Its a challenge but He has promised in Romans 5:5 that His Spirit pours out Gods love in our hearts. Therefore since the promise is there let us ask God to help us receive that already available ocean of love and remove all obstacles in our lives that hinder the flow of His love through us to others. We cannot change the other person but with Gods help we can change in the way we reach out to them. He desires for us to bear much fruit (Gal. 5:22-23) and will do all it takes to make that happen including the rather painful process of pruning (John 15).

My dear brother, my dear sister, don't give up hope, don't despair, hang in there! No matter how bleak the situation or how difficult it is to relate to some people, Jesus still has all authority in heaven and on earth. He knows what He is doing. Trust Him and make sure that your heart continually abides in Him for with Him it is safe.

dinsdag 13 januari 2015

Intimacy with God

20Then Saul said to Samuel, "I did obey the voice of the LORD, and went on the mission on which the LORD sent me, and have brought back Agag the king of Amalek, and have utterly destroyed the Amalekites.21"But the people took some of the spoil, sheep and oxen, the choicest of the things devoted to destruction, to sacrifice to the LORD your God at Gilgal." 22Samuel said, "Has the LORD as much delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices As in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, And to heed than the fat of rams.… 23"For rebellion is as the sin of divination, And insubordination is as iniquity and idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the LORD, He has also rejected you from being king."

1 Sam. 5:20-22

This scripture highlights Saul’s fall from grace. He was chosen by God as king over Israel. He had been blessed and used by God. Unfortunately, instead of this making him humble and grateful and growing in love for God , he only grew to love himself more. Jesus says in John 14:21 21

"He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will disclose Myself to him."

Many Christian desire to experience more of God in their lives. They desire that He discloses Himself to them in spiritual intimacy but they do not want to fulfill the requirement: Keep his commandments….. not just the 10 commandments but the Law of Christ.

If we do not obey the law of Christ in our daily lives we cannot and will not experience true intimacy with God no matter how much we long for it. Living in disobedience is idolatry, it is like occult sin aligning us with the enemies of God and if we do not repent and stubbornly persist in disobedience our end will be like Saul’s: God will reject us. Not because He hates us but because by persisting in disobedience we will lose our love for God and forsake our trust in Him and will in fact reject Him. Maybe not so much in words but by the way we live our lives.

Let us therefore love God, not by outward religious ceremony to please humanity, to get power or to look good in people’s eyes, but by true obedience to the Law of Christ. Such obedience can only come if we rely on His help and keep our eyes firmly on Jesus so His Spirit can work out both the will and resulting Godly acts of obedience in our lives.

donderdag 8 januari 2015

Avoid pushing your partner away

Relationships: How to avoid pushing your partner away?

1) Avoid obsessive behaviour – Obsessive behaviour such as over-analysing your partners actions trying to look for signs of your partner no longer loving you is destructive. For example over-analysing why your partner did not text/phone you will make the other feel not trusted and uncomfortable. If you give your partner the impression you don’t trust him/her, your partner in turn will eventually start to distrust you.

2) Avoid drama – Some people thrive on arguments and like picking them. They may enjoy the game and may feel good at winning arguments but it causes the partner to feel like he/she always gets the short end of the stick.  Eventually this breeds discontent.

3) Avoid being overly critical - and questioning your partner’s good motives. The more you do so the more your partner will feel humiliated and hurt. Eventually this may lead to conflict, your partner withdrawing emotionally or seeking ways to escape and find comfort and understanding elsewhere.

4) Being accusatory and negative about the relationship - “Why don’t you love me anymore?” or “I know you don’t want to be with me anymore.” Such statements reflect a suspicious mind that is assuming the worst without any sort of real evidence. Such a negative mindset will hurt your partner’s feelings and harm your relationship.

5) Trying to change your partner – Trying to change your partner is a way of telling him/her ’you are not good enough for me’. If you cannot accept your partner for who he/she is then you are actually the one who is not good for them and you need to change your attitude. Trying to change someone is not the basis for a long-lasting, healthy partnership. Although you can help bring out the best in someone and encouraging someone to overcome fear and self-doubt and aim higher and live up to his/her full potential because you believe in him/her is good. But nagging and criticizing someone for not living up to your expectations harms your relationship and drives a wedge between you and your partner.

6) Avoid getting too clingy or too emotional – This may happen if deep down you feel so insecure that you fear your partner may wake up one morning and realize you are not worth staying with and may leave you. The solution is to courageously face your fears and insecurities and overcome them. If need be find a counselor or psychologist to help you deal with them before your fears end up pushing a good partner away who never had the intention to ever leave you.

7) Avoid suspicion and hyper-vigilance - If you start looking for problems with your partner or with your relationship you will certainly find them. To a suspicious mind even the most innocent thing becomes evidence to build a case. Accusing your partner to often may cause him/her to withdraw from you. No one enjoy to be mistrusted. Deal with your fears! Face the fact that you are afraid of rejection. But if you prematurely decide that it’s not going to work out between you and your partner, you will probably get what you want. Going through your partners emails, texts and social media activity looking for evidence that your partner is cheating or hiding something, you’re bound to find things you won’t like. This does not per definition mean your partner is doing anything wrong, Maybe you are already assuming the worst so in your mind and so it will come across as something dishonest.

8) Avoid letting the past determine the present - If you frequently bring up your past relationships or those of your partner it could easily drive a partner away. The same applies to bringing up your partners past failures over and over again. Doing so shows that you are still vengeful and have not truly forgiven. Deal with it and let go of the past so you can be positive in the presence and work towards building an even better future.


All these 8 points boil down to loving your partner as you wnat him/her to love you and treating him/her the way you like to be treated. Read 1 Cor. 13 and instead of reading 'love is patient, love is kind..... fill in how you are towards your partner and read 'I am patient towards....., I am kind towards.....' And be honest enough to take note of where you need to change for by the end of the day that is the only person you can change with Gods help.

dinsdag 6 januari 2015

Be careful how you live

Ephesians 5:15-17

15Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, 16making the most of your time, because the days are evil. 17So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.

We all know people who are full of stories about their great achievements in the past and/or who brag about what they will do in future. As confident and successful they may appear underneath all the veneer is a deep anxiety. To hide their anxiety they often become experts in keeping up appearances and may therefore appear stable and strong. At the root of all this is not the desire to be mean or deceitful but it is insecurity and fear of being rejected. They have come to believe deep down that if they are simply themselves they won't be loved. This often is the sad result of past rejection, abandonment experiences and being devalued or ignored by significant others in their lives. Even among Christians we find such people and some even use ministry or spiritual experiences to boast their fragile self-esteem. However the truth remains that to brag about past achievements or to boast about what you are going to do in the future does not make you any better in the present. Its better to be just be real today, accept who you are in Christ and do what is right whenever you have the opportunity.