There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because He first loved us.
1 John 4:18-19
Contrary to popular opinion the opposite of love is not hate, it is fear. It is fear that our needs may not be met, fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, fear of what others can do to us, or many other fears, that actually prevent us from being able to receive and give love. True love can only flourish where fear makes way for the courage to trust and dare to be vulnerable enough to entrust ourselves to others. It is because of Gods enormous love that we dare to trust Him and as His love transforms our hearts we more dare to trust others too and let go of our fear. Then we no longer need to hide behind walls of silence, bitterness, deception, self-sufficiency, keeping up appearances, hate or anger to defend our fragile selves but as weak as we are become strong in His love.
zaterdag 7 februari 2015
woensdag 4 februari 2015
Love casts out all fear
To love God and to love people also includes learning to Trust God and Trust People: Let go of your fear and let your walls come down.
1 Cor. 13:4-7
Love suffers long and is kind; love envies not; love flaunts not itself and is not puffed up, 5 does not behave itself improperly, seeks not its own, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil; 6 rejoices not in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.
In love and in life, our vulnerability is one of our greatest strengths. We often believe that we risk too much by being vulnerable, but, in fact, the opposite is true. When we build a wall around us to protect ourselves from the things we fear, we miss out on the abundance of life Christ has in store for us.
We need to dare to be vulnerable before God and surrender ourselves in trust in order to receive His love and we must dare to be vulnerable before people and give them our trust in order to relate to them in love.
Love does not operate from suspicion. It does not approach people with distrust and fear of rejection.
Love bears, hopes and believes.
as 1 John 4:18 says:
18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. Whoever fears is not perfect in love.
If we live in fear then we need to learn to receive more love from God and learn to love Him and people
When we live with the fear that something may be taken from us (physically or emotionally), or that we need to be in control of everything that happens, we endure fear on a daily basis. Fear leads to suspicion, paranoia, irritation, anger, hate and eventually it will hurt ourselves and others.
It is exhausting to live this way. It makes us cynical, suspicious, and unable to follow the gentle guidance of the Holy Spirit it our hearts because we fear what might or might not happen. These fears may include:
Fear of being abandoned
Fear of being rejected as worthless
Fear of being ridiculed or humiliated
Fear of making a mistake or failing at a task
Fear of not being able to measure up to people’s expectations
Fear of committing ourselves and taking responsibility for our decisions
Fear of being used or taken advantage of
Fear of.......
These fears are part of our broken and sinful human nature and they hinder us and hold us back from all God has in store for us. And unless we recognize them for what they are: Harmful for us and others. If not submitted to Christ and handed over to Him they will continue to influence our everyday interactions with God, ourselves and other people in a negative way.
It is not just about trusting people but also about life situations and opportunities that come our way. When the barriers are up, our lives become very limited, we are literally prisoners of our fear and cannot fully enjoy the freedom of the children of God.
We don’t bother talking to someone because we’re certain they won’t be interested in us.
We don’t show how much we care about a person because we’re afraid they won’t love us back.
We don’t commit our feelings too much to a relationship because we fear they may leave us one day
We don’t apply for a job because we’re scared we won’t be accepted
……fear hurts us and others and it stops us from reaching the destiny God has in mind for us
We need to ask God to help us overcome our fears with trust, our anxiety with love, for His perfect love can cast out all fear.
To be vulnerable and no longer pretend to be stronger and better than we are is difficult for all human beings, but if you are someone who has suffered at the hands of other people it is even more difficult. However, if you consciously choose to take the risk to be open and trusting, you will find that your world changes for the better in ways you may never have imagined.
Of course, it is always right to use our instincts as our guide. You should not yourself up to be shot down emotionally by someone who does not deserve your trust. You may give people a chance but if they keep hurting you knowingly and do not make an effort to change, it is time to shake the dust of your feet and move on. But also, you should not let negative past experiences allow you to believe that it’s not safe to trust again.
What can I do to change?
In order to get to a place where you are comfortable being vulnerable and being able to trust a person or situation, you must first be honest with yourself.
It is not weak to admit to ourselves that we fear abandonment, or we fear rejection, or we fear appearing inadequate. Better to admit the truth than to tell yourself a lie, “he is not my type,” “I have no problem, people just don’t appreciate me”, “I don’t need anyone”…..
We must look such fears in the eye and realize they are simply methods trying to protect us from being hurt, they were necessary in the past to cope with hardship but now they must go for they prevent us from enjoying the fullness of life God has for us. We must stop surviving and start fully living the wonderful life of love God has in mind for us.
1 Cor. 13:4-7
Love suffers long and is kind; love envies not; love flaunts not itself and is not puffed up, 5 does not behave itself improperly, seeks not its own, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil; 6 rejoices not in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.
In love and in life, our vulnerability is one of our greatest strengths. We often believe that we risk too much by being vulnerable, but, in fact, the opposite is true. When we build a wall around us to protect ourselves from the things we fear, we miss out on the abundance of life Christ has in store for us.
We need to dare to be vulnerable before God and surrender ourselves in trust in order to receive His love and we must dare to be vulnerable before people and give them our trust in order to relate to them in love.
Love does not operate from suspicion. It does not approach people with distrust and fear of rejection.
Love bears, hopes and believes.
as 1 John 4:18 says:
18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. Whoever fears is not perfect in love.
If we live in fear then we need to learn to receive more love from God and learn to love Him and people
When we live with the fear that something may be taken from us (physically or emotionally), or that we need to be in control of everything that happens, we endure fear on a daily basis. Fear leads to suspicion, paranoia, irritation, anger, hate and eventually it will hurt ourselves and others.
It is exhausting to live this way. It makes us cynical, suspicious, and unable to follow the gentle guidance of the Holy Spirit it our hearts because we fear what might or might not happen. These fears may include:
Fear of being abandoned
Fear of being rejected as worthless
Fear of being ridiculed or humiliated
Fear of making a mistake or failing at a task
Fear of not being able to measure up to people’s expectations
Fear of committing ourselves and taking responsibility for our decisions
Fear of being used or taken advantage of
Fear of.......
These fears are part of our broken and sinful human nature and they hinder us and hold us back from all God has in store for us. And unless we recognize them for what they are: Harmful for us and others. If not submitted to Christ and handed over to Him they will continue to influence our everyday interactions with God, ourselves and other people in a negative way.
It is not just about trusting people but also about life situations and opportunities that come our way. When the barriers are up, our lives become very limited, we are literally prisoners of our fear and cannot fully enjoy the freedom of the children of God.
We don’t bother talking to someone because we’re certain they won’t be interested in us.
We don’t show how much we care about a person because we’re afraid they won’t love us back.
We don’t commit our feelings too much to a relationship because we fear they may leave us one day
We don’t apply for a job because we’re scared we won’t be accepted
……fear hurts us and others and it stops us from reaching the destiny God has in mind for us
We need to ask God to help us overcome our fears with trust, our anxiety with love, for His perfect love can cast out all fear.
To be vulnerable and no longer pretend to be stronger and better than we are is difficult for all human beings, but if you are someone who has suffered at the hands of other people it is even more difficult. However, if you consciously choose to take the risk to be open and trusting, you will find that your world changes for the better in ways you may never have imagined.
Of course, it is always right to use our instincts as our guide. You should not yourself up to be shot down emotionally by someone who does not deserve your trust. You may give people a chance but if they keep hurting you knowingly and do not make an effort to change, it is time to shake the dust of your feet and move on. But also, you should not let negative past experiences allow you to believe that it’s not safe to trust again.
What can I do to change?
In order to get to a place where you are comfortable being vulnerable and being able to trust a person or situation, you must first be honest with yourself.
It is not weak to admit to ourselves that we fear abandonment, or we fear rejection, or we fear appearing inadequate. Better to admit the truth than to tell yourself a lie, “he is not my type,” “I have no problem, people just don’t appreciate me”, “I don’t need anyone”…..
We must look such fears in the eye and realize they are simply methods trying to protect us from being hurt, they were necessary in the past to cope with hardship but now they must go for they prevent us from enjoying the fullness of life God has for us. We must stop surviving and start fully living the wonderful life of love God has in mind for us.
maandag 2 februari 2015
God can reweave what is evil into good
As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive. (50:20 NASB)
In God’s hands intended evil becomes eventual good. Joseph tied himself to the pillar of this promise and held on for dear life. Nothing in his story glosses over the presence of evil. Quite the contrary. Bloodstains, tearstains are everywhere. Joseph’s heart was rubbed raw against the rocks of disloyalty and miscarried justice. Yet time and time again God redeemed the pain. The torn robe became a royal one. The pit became a palace. The broken family grew old together. The very acts intended to destroy God’s servant turned out to strengthen him.
“You meant evil against me,” Joseph told his brothers, using a Hebrew verb that traces its meaning to “weave” or “plait.”
“You wove evil,” he was saying, “but God rewove it together for good.”
God, the Master Weaver. He stretches the yarn and intertwines the colors, the ragged twine with the velvet strings, the pains with the pleasures. Nothing escapes his reach. Every king, despot, weather pattern, and molecule are at his command. He passes the shuttle back and forth across the generations, and as he does, a design emerges. Satan weaves; God reweaves.
See more in the original article by Max Lucado:
http://www.faithgateway.com/what-was-meant-for-evil-god-uses-for-good/#.VM_WGdKAG7A
In God’s hands intended evil becomes eventual good. Joseph tied himself to the pillar of this promise and held on for dear life. Nothing in his story glosses over the presence of evil. Quite the contrary. Bloodstains, tearstains are everywhere. Joseph’s heart was rubbed raw against the rocks of disloyalty and miscarried justice. Yet time and time again God redeemed the pain. The torn robe became a royal one. The pit became a palace. The broken family grew old together. The very acts intended to destroy God’s servant turned out to strengthen him.
“You meant evil against me,” Joseph told his brothers, using a Hebrew verb that traces its meaning to “weave” or “plait.”
“You wove evil,” he was saying, “but God rewove it together for good.”
God, the Master Weaver. He stretches the yarn and intertwines the colors, the ragged twine with the velvet strings, the pains with the pleasures. Nothing escapes his reach. Every king, despot, weather pattern, and molecule are at his command. He passes the shuttle back and forth across the generations, and as he does, a design emerges. Satan weaves; God reweaves.
See more in the original article by Max Lucado:
http://www.faithgateway.com/what-was-meant-for-evil-god-uses-for-good/#.VM_WGdKAG7A
zaterdag 31 januari 2015
Lets love even when it hurts
1 John 4:16-21 God is love. If we keep on loving others, we will stay one in our hearts with God, and he will stay one with us. 17 If we truly love others and live as Christ did in this world, we won't be worried about the day of judgment. 18 A real love for others will chase those worries away. The thought of being punished is what makes us afraid. It shows that we have not really learned to love.
19 We love because God loved us first. 20 But if we say we love God and don't love each other, we are liars. We cannot see God. So how can we love God, if we don't love the people we can see? 21 The commandment that God has given us is: “Love God and love each other!”
If you are a frail and fallible human being like me then you will realize that you are unable to love all people the way you should. God often brings people in our lives who sharpen us to make us realize that we really need to continually depend on Him to love them as we should. Its a challenge but He has promised in Romans 5:5 that His Spirit pours out Gods love in our hearts. Therefore since the promise is there let us ask God to help us receive that already available ocean of love and remove all obstacles in our lives that hinder the flow of His love through us to others. We cannot change the other person but with Gods help we can change in the way we reach out to them. He desires for us to bear much fruit (Gal. 5:22-23) and will do all it takes to make that happen including the rather painful process of pruning (John 15).
My dear brother, my dear sister, don't give up hope, don't despair, hang in there! No matter how bleak the situation or how difficult it is to relate to some people, Jesus still has all authority in heaven and on earth. He knows what He is doing. Trust Him and make sure that your heart continually abides in Him for with Him it is safe.
19 We love because God loved us first. 20 But if we say we love God and don't love each other, we are liars. We cannot see God. So how can we love God, if we don't love the people we can see? 21 The commandment that God has given us is: “Love God and love each other!”
If you are a frail and fallible human being like me then you will realize that you are unable to love all people the way you should. God often brings people in our lives who sharpen us to make us realize that we really need to continually depend on Him to love them as we should. Its a challenge but He has promised in Romans 5:5 that His Spirit pours out Gods love in our hearts. Therefore since the promise is there let us ask God to help us receive that already available ocean of love and remove all obstacles in our lives that hinder the flow of His love through us to others. We cannot change the other person but with Gods help we can change in the way we reach out to them. He desires for us to bear much fruit (Gal. 5:22-23) and will do all it takes to make that happen including the rather painful process of pruning (John 15).
My dear brother, my dear sister, don't give up hope, don't despair, hang in there! No matter how bleak the situation or how difficult it is to relate to some people, Jesus still has all authority in heaven and on earth. He knows what He is doing. Trust Him and make sure that your heart continually abides in Him for with Him it is safe.
dinsdag 13 januari 2015
Intimacy with God
20Then Saul said to Samuel, "I did obey the voice of the LORD, and went on the mission on which the LORD sent me, and have brought back Agag the king of Amalek, and have utterly destroyed the Amalekites.21"But the people took some of the spoil, sheep and oxen, the choicest of the things devoted to destruction, to sacrifice to the LORD your God at Gilgal." 22Samuel said, "Has the LORD as much delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices As in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, And to heed than the fat of rams.… 23"For rebellion is as the sin of divination, And insubordination is as iniquity and idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the LORD, He has also rejected you from being king."
1 Sam. 5:20-22
This scripture highlights Saul’s fall from grace. He was chosen by God as king over Israel. He had been blessed and used by God. Unfortunately, instead of this making him humble and grateful and growing in love for God , he only grew to love himself more. Jesus says in John 14:21 21
"He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will disclose Myself to him."
Many Christian desire to experience more of God in their lives. They desire that He discloses Himself to them in spiritual intimacy but they do not want to fulfill the requirement: Keep his commandments….. not just the 10 commandments but the Law of Christ.
If we do not obey the law of Christ in our daily lives we cannot and will not experience true intimacy with God no matter how much we long for it. Living in disobedience is idolatry, it is like occult sin aligning us with the enemies of God and if we do not repent and stubbornly persist in disobedience our end will be like Saul’s: God will reject us. Not because He hates us but because by persisting in disobedience we will lose our love for God and forsake our trust in Him and will in fact reject Him. Maybe not so much in words but by the way we live our lives.
Let us therefore love God, not by outward religious ceremony to please humanity, to get power or to look good in people’s eyes, but by true obedience to the Law of Christ. Such obedience can only come if we rely on His help and keep our eyes firmly on Jesus so His Spirit can work out both the will and resulting Godly acts of obedience in our lives.
1 Sam. 5:20-22
This scripture highlights Saul’s fall from grace. He was chosen by God as king over Israel. He had been blessed and used by God. Unfortunately, instead of this making him humble and grateful and growing in love for God , he only grew to love himself more. Jesus says in John 14:21 21
"He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will disclose Myself to him."
Many Christian desire to experience more of God in their lives. They desire that He discloses Himself to them in spiritual intimacy but they do not want to fulfill the requirement: Keep his commandments….. not just the 10 commandments but the Law of Christ.
If we do not obey the law of Christ in our daily lives we cannot and will not experience true intimacy with God no matter how much we long for it. Living in disobedience is idolatry, it is like occult sin aligning us with the enemies of God and if we do not repent and stubbornly persist in disobedience our end will be like Saul’s: God will reject us. Not because He hates us but because by persisting in disobedience we will lose our love for God and forsake our trust in Him and will in fact reject Him. Maybe not so much in words but by the way we live our lives.
Let us therefore love God, not by outward religious ceremony to please humanity, to get power or to look good in people’s eyes, but by true obedience to the Law of Christ. Such obedience can only come if we rely on His help and keep our eyes firmly on Jesus so His Spirit can work out both the will and resulting Godly acts of obedience in our lives.
donderdag 8 januari 2015
Avoid pushing your partner away
Relationships: How to avoid pushing your partner away?
1) Avoid obsessive behaviour – Obsessive behaviour such as over-analysing your partners actions trying to look for signs of your partner no longer loving you is destructive. For example over-analysing why your partner did not text/phone you will make the other feel not trusted and uncomfortable. If you give your partner the impression you don’t trust him/her, your partner in turn will eventually start to distrust you.
2) Avoid drama – Some people thrive on arguments and like picking them. They may enjoy the game and may feel good at winning arguments but it causes the partner to feel like he/she always gets the short end of the stick. Eventually this breeds discontent.
3) Avoid being overly critical - and questioning your partner’s good motives. The more you do so the more your partner will feel humiliated and hurt. Eventually this may lead to conflict, your partner withdrawing emotionally or seeking ways to escape and find comfort and understanding elsewhere.
4) Being accusatory and negative about the relationship - “Why don’t you love me anymore?” or “I know you don’t want to be with me anymore.” Such statements reflect a suspicious mind that is assuming the worst without any sort of real evidence. Such a negative mindset will hurt your partner’s feelings and harm your relationship.
5) Trying to change your partner – Trying to change your partner is a way of telling him/her ’you are not good enough for me’. If you cannot accept your partner for who he/she is then you are actually the one who is not good for them and you need to change your attitude. Trying to change someone is not the basis for a long-lasting, healthy partnership. Although you can help bring out the best in someone and encouraging someone to overcome fear and self-doubt and aim higher and live up to his/her full potential because you believe in him/her is good. But nagging and criticizing someone for not living up to your expectations harms your relationship and drives a wedge between you and your partner.
6) Avoid getting too clingy or too emotional – This may happen if deep down you feel so insecure that you fear your partner may wake up one morning and realize you are not worth staying with and may leave you. The solution is to courageously face your fears and insecurities and overcome them. If need be find a counselor or psychologist to help you deal with them before your fears end up pushing a good partner away who never had the intention to ever leave you.
7) Avoid suspicion and hyper-vigilance - If you start looking for problems with your partner or with your relationship you will certainly find them. To a suspicious mind even the most innocent thing becomes evidence to build a case. Accusing your partner to often may cause him/her to withdraw from you. No one enjoy to be mistrusted. Deal with your fears! Face the fact that you are afraid of rejection. But if you prematurely decide that it’s not going to work out between you and your partner, you will probably get what you want. Going through your partners emails, texts and social media activity looking for evidence that your partner is cheating or hiding something, you’re bound to find things you won’t like. This does not per definition mean your partner is doing anything wrong, Maybe you are already assuming the worst so in your mind and so it will come across as something dishonest.
8) Avoid letting the past determine the present - If you frequently bring up your past relationships or those of your partner it could easily drive a partner away. The same applies to bringing up your partners past failures over and over again. Doing so shows that you are still vengeful and have not truly forgiven. Deal with it and let go of the past so you can be positive in the presence and work towards building an even better future.
Conclusion
All these 8 points boil down to loving your partner as you wnat him/her to love you and treating him/her the way you like to be treated. Read 1 Cor. 13 and instead of reading 'love is patient, love is kind..... fill in how you are towards your partner and read 'I am patient towards....., I am kind towards.....' And be honest enough to take note of where you need to change for by the end of the day that is the only person you can change with Gods help.
1) Avoid obsessive behaviour – Obsessive behaviour such as over-analysing your partners actions trying to look for signs of your partner no longer loving you is destructive. For example over-analysing why your partner did not text/phone you will make the other feel not trusted and uncomfortable. If you give your partner the impression you don’t trust him/her, your partner in turn will eventually start to distrust you.
2) Avoid drama – Some people thrive on arguments and like picking them. They may enjoy the game and may feel good at winning arguments but it causes the partner to feel like he/she always gets the short end of the stick. Eventually this breeds discontent.
3) Avoid being overly critical - and questioning your partner’s good motives. The more you do so the more your partner will feel humiliated and hurt. Eventually this may lead to conflict, your partner withdrawing emotionally or seeking ways to escape and find comfort and understanding elsewhere.
4) Being accusatory and negative about the relationship - “Why don’t you love me anymore?” or “I know you don’t want to be with me anymore.” Such statements reflect a suspicious mind that is assuming the worst without any sort of real evidence. Such a negative mindset will hurt your partner’s feelings and harm your relationship.
5) Trying to change your partner – Trying to change your partner is a way of telling him/her ’you are not good enough for me’. If you cannot accept your partner for who he/she is then you are actually the one who is not good for them and you need to change your attitude. Trying to change someone is not the basis for a long-lasting, healthy partnership. Although you can help bring out the best in someone and encouraging someone to overcome fear and self-doubt and aim higher and live up to his/her full potential because you believe in him/her is good. But nagging and criticizing someone for not living up to your expectations harms your relationship and drives a wedge between you and your partner.
6) Avoid getting too clingy or too emotional – This may happen if deep down you feel so insecure that you fear your partner may wake up one morning and realize you are not worth staying with and may leave you. The solution is to courageously face your fears and insecurities and overcome them. If need be find a counselor or psychologist to help you deal with them before your fears end up pushing a good partner away who never had the intention to ever leave you.
7) Avoid suspicion and hyper-vigilance - If you start looking for problems with your partner or with your relationship you will certainly find them. To a suspicious mind even the most innocent thing becomes evidence to build a case. Accusing your partner to often may cause him/her to withdraw from you. No one enjoy to be mistrusted. Deal with your fears! Face the fact that you are afraid of rejection. But if you prematurely decide that it’s not going to work out between you and your partner, you will probably get what you want. Going through your partners emails, texts and social media activity looking for evidence that your partner is cheating or hiding something, you’re bound to find things you won’t like. This does not per definition mean your partner is doing anything wrong, Maybe you are already assuming the worst so in your mind and so it will come across as something dishonest.
8) Avoid letting the past determine the present - If you frequently bring up your past relationships or those of your partner it could easily drive a partner away. The same applies to bringing up your partners past failures over and over again. Doing so shows that you are still vengeful and have not truly forgiven. Deal with it and let go of the past so you can be positive in the presence and work towards building an even better future.
Conclusion
All these 8 points boil down to loving your partner as you wnat him/her to love you and treating him/her the way you like to be treated. Read 1 Cor. 13 and instead of reading 'love is patient, love is kind..... fill in how you are towards your partner and read 'I am patient towards....., I am kind towards.....' And be honest enough to take note of where you need to change for by the end of the day that is the only person you can change with Gods help.
dinsdag 6 januari 2015
Be careful how you live
Ephesians 5:15-17
15Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, 16making the most of your time, because the days are evil. 17So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.
We all know people who are full of stories about their great achievements in the past and/or who brag about what they will do in future. As confident and successful they may appear underneath all the veneer is a deep anxiety. To hide their anxiety they often become experts in keeping up appearances and may therefore appear stable and strong. At the root of all this is not the desire to be mean or deceitful but it is insecurity and fear of being rejected. They have come to believe deep down that if they are simply themselves they won't be loved. This often is the sad result of past rejection, abandonment experiences and being devalued or ignored by significant others in their lives. Even among Christians we find such people and some even use ministry or spiritual experiences to boast their fragile self-esteem. However the truth remains that to brag about past achievements or to boast about what you are going to do in the future does not make you any better in the present. Its better to be just be real today, accept who you are in Christ and do what is right whenever you have the opportunity.
15Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, 16making the most of your time, because the days are evil. 17So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.
We all know people who are full of stories about their great achievements in the past and/or who brag about what they will do in future. As confident and successful they may appear underneath all the veneer is a deep anxiety. To hide their anxiety they often become experts in keeping up appearances and may therefore appear stable and strong. At the root of all this is not the desire to be mean or deceitful but it is insecurity and fear of being rejected. They have come to believe deep down that if they are simply themselves they won't be loved. This often is the sad result of past rejection, abandonment experiences and being devalued or ignored by significant others in their lives. Even among Christians we find such people and some even use ministry or spiritual experiences to boast their fragile self-esteem. However the truth remains that to brag about past achievements or to boast about what you are going to do in the future does not make you any better in the present. Its better to be just be real today, accept who you are in Christ and do what is right whenever you have the opportunity.
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